How Lovely

Last weekend, I spent some time with some very close friends of ours.  We visited them on Saturday for what we thought would be a short visit, but ended up being an over night stay!  We laughed, we cried, we spent the night on an air mattress, and then Papa lead us in a Bible study for Sunday morning. 

I believe the Lord orchestrated our visit with them.  I always enjoy my time with my second family because I can completely let my guard down.  I was completely honest in a 2 hour conversation and did not feel judged at all, (I admitted to some very strong feelings toward God and people in my life).  There are few places that I am unashamedly myself.  I spend a lot of time trying not to make a wrong move or apologizing for when I do.  Through this visit though the Lord began healing my heart.  He began healing my marriage.  Who knows how long it will take for me to be "anguish-free", but in the meantime, I want to devote myself to His plan.

This visit also was so precious because the children have grown into young adults.  I can only pray that my children will know and follow the Lord as they do.  As we became a part of their family for a day, we were granted access into some very special moments.  Papa and Di were so inspiring.  Papa is a very gifted teacher and I was amazed at how often he would stop everything because he saw a teachable moment for his kiddos.  They are very honest with their children and everything was centered around the Lord, but did not seem forced at all.

My plan for now: I am going to live out what I believe.  For so long, I have known the Truth, but did not live by it.  I knew that His plan was better, but I didn't allow Him to have control.  I knew that He loved me, but I felt abandoned and alone, so I became very angry with Him. 

As we wait for children of our own, Jerrad and I know that we need to become closer to the Lord so that we can grow them into the Godly people He has planned.  If you pray for us, please pray that the Lord shows us what He is working on within our hearts and that His will be accomplished.